Disclaimer: While these parents have helped us write their story and have given permission for it to be shared with you, their names and any identifying information have been changed to protect their identities. 

Annie came to Amber in 2025 with her new baby Lennie. Lennie was Annie’s fifth child. Lennie was having contact with his father, with a plan for this to become more regular when the family were back in the local community.

The family required structured supervision to ensure Lennie’s safety as there were concerns around substance abuse, domestic abuse, mum’s mental health, abandonment and emotional harm.  Annie had extensive history of risk-taking behaviour, which had harmed herself and her older children; criminal behaviour, as a way of rebelling against abuse from her own mum; prostitution and dealing substances and she was a victim of trafficking and grooming. It seemed that Annie did not have the capacity to fully understand the risks she was placing herself in. Having suffered significant trauma throughout her life, Annie saw abusive relationships as ‘normal’. She felt unable to leave these relationships through fear of losing her children, wanting to ‘keep the peace’ and survive.

Annie also had history of substance misuse from early teenage years until her mid 20’s. After a period of sobriety, triggered by a significant low point in mental health, Annie turned again to substances. She was struggling with the pressure of having young children with additional needs, financial issues, and Children’s Services involvement. Annie became extremely overwhelmed and she abandoned her children, briefly becoming involved in criminal activity. Following this her children were removed.

On discovering she was pregnant with Lennie, Annie stopped using substances.

How a residential placement helped

Having her children removed was something Annie deeply regretted and she wanted to ensure she did not end up in the same situation with her new baby.

Through working with professionals in placement, Annie developed insight and showed accountability for the harm caused to her children.

After completing the Gateway Program with Amber Family, Annie began to demonstrate that she had the knowledge she needed to protect herself and Lennie from future abusive relationships. Indeed, she recognised subtle signs of emotional abuse in her current relationship, and to protect herself and Lennie she ended that relationship. She also reflected on her less supportive friendships, and she spoke about setting boundaries to protect her own emotional safety and in turn support her mental health.

Annie was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD), and during placement it became apparent that she also suffered from anxiety, which is typical with BPD. This undoubtedly had an impact on how Annie had managed relationships, coped with difficult situations and regulated her emotions.  A Psychological Assessment found that Annie had learned healthy coping mechanisms which could be further supported by DBT and EMDR therapy.

Annie also realised that there were parts of her mental health that she didn’t understand and was aware that she might process things differently to neurotypical people and planned to seek an assessment to see if she had Autism (ASD) and/or ADHD.

Being in placement gave Annie access to talking therapy services with a qualified counsellor which she found beneficial as safe place to offload. Annie thought she would continue with this in the community.

Annie began working with mental health services and engaged with Children’s Services. She was open and honest about her past and began reflecting on some of her early choices and relationships. With support from professionals, she began to understand more about her own mental health and work through some of her past traumas, to understand her reactions to certain things and the harm these reactions had caused her older children.

Conclusion

Throughout placement, Annie’s mental health appeared stable and she was observed to function well day to day and met Lennie’s physical and emotional needs with ease.  She maintained a clean and tidy living environment, appeared to manage her finances well.

Annie had previously demonstrated that she could abstain from using substances.  In the past she appeared to have resorted to substances to help her cope with her mental health decline to escape real life. Testing showed that Annie had abstained during her pregnancy and, whilst in placement there were no concerns that she may have been under the influence of alcohol or substances.

Annie decided that she was ready to try to secure a safe and settled environment for herself and Lennie. In the supportive environment at Amber Family Annie was able to describe and demonstrate healthy coping mechanisms and skills to achieve the environment that she and Lennie needed.

Annie worked well with all professionals, attended all courses and everything asked of her, and appeared to have been open and honest throughout.

As a result, the parenting assessment recommended that Annie was able to meet Lennie’s needs and keep him safe from harm whilst living independently in the community.  Annie found a new home for her and Lennie away from previous harmful influences and they were able to stay together.